Why do I clean at all?

My mother raised me to be better than this...cleaning I mean.  But since I live by myself, I can't seem to stay on top of it.  There's always something else I'd rather do, and things just go right back to unruly in a matter of minutes.  It things would just stay clean and picked up for a couple of days.  But I know that the real reason things don't stay is that I'm depressed.  Yes you heard it first here.  Deep down, I'm depressed that the love of my life is gone and he's not here for me to make a home for anymore.  I just find that I hide behind reading or being on the computer.  I can't seem to work up the energy to keep things picked up.  I don't have the enthusiasm either.  I like things clean and orderly too, so why don't I do it?  I don't know,  but I'm saved again for a few more days.  Mom is coming over tomorrow to help me whip the house into shape.  Thanks Mom...you really did raise me to be better than this.