Loose lips sink ships. Does anyone remember that phrase? It's always one I've liked...that rhyme thing. I've always known on a theoretical level that it's a truism, but I've never thought about it much on a personal level. Oh, I've thought about it in terms of not gossiping about people. I've thought about it in terms of not saying something recklessly that might hurt someone else, but I've never thought about it in terms of shooting myself in the foot, so to speak, if I say something carelessly and without thinking of its impact.
This past week I made a comment in a blog that upset a lot of people and caused them to worry about me. I've had to stress to several people that I only meant what I said as a figure of speech to explain how depressed I was at that moment. I didn't mean to worry anyone or make them think that I'm unstable, or that I am a danger to myself. Not at all! I hope everyone is now less fried and that they realize what I meant.
But when we talk about being sadder than sad, and that some things in life get us down so much that we don't see the answers, that we can get so weighted down that it seems as if we will never get up, how do we express those things in a serious way that gets our point across without causing others to flip-out and worry?
When I talk about missing Stacey (and that pain is the only one that gets me into a pit), how do I put that so that it doesn't sound trite or contrived? Because my feelings like those of everyone else's, are not trite or contrived. I try not to dwell on it, and I am truly happy these days; it's just not the 100%, over the moon, head over my heels happy. Maybe that will never come again; maybe it will. I can only go back to trying to trust God with my whole being instead of just on an emotional level and trust that he will hold me up. As he said, he won't give us more than we can bear. I just need to remember that and curb the things I say publicly.
My deepest apologies to everyone I worried. I'm truly sorry you were, but also extremely touched that you care so deeply for me. Thank you.